yep, i'm still martha

i don't feel like i'm as bad as i once was, with details that is. you know, when you're having guests over and...

you have to get every blade of grass off the floor.

every fingerprint off the windows.

pillows perfectly fluffed.

beds perfectly made.

coutertops as if they were just polished.

you know, the details.

i'm hosting a bible study with some amazing women this summer. today was our first session and to be honest, i didn't feel any of the stress i used to feel when having guests into my home.

don't get me wrong, i swept. i wiped countertops. i cleaned the guest toilet only because i have two boys and sometimes they seem to hit everything but the inside of the bowl. but this time i was so much better about the details. ask my family... i was better.

 but for some reason today once everyone was gone, i really felt God leading me to revisit the story of mary and martha.

but lord, i know this story. i know martha cleaned and was busy with the details while mary sat at your feet and listened to you. i get that. i know. but i did a really good job leading up to today. i didn't stress. i didn't clean like a mad woman. i was fully present with these women. fully focused and engaged. so right now, i'm gonna put on my swimsuit and lie on my float and soak up some of this sun. mmkay?

and that's just what i did. i lounged on my float. soaked up a little sun. and all the while mary and martha's names kept playing over and over in my head.

ok ok. i'll look up and read the story. it's short. it won't take that long. luke 10:38-42.

so i grabbed my bible and i read the story. and nothing. nothing happened. i didn't feel the lord speaking to me. nothing.

then he lead me to the story of lazarus. mary and martha's brother.

in this story, jesus sees how upset mary and martha are with the death of their brother. he comforts them. he tells them that lazarus will rise again. and then he wants them to lead him to their brother's tomb.

"roll the stone aside," jesus told them. but martha, the dead man's, sister protested, "lord, he has been dead for four days. the smell will be terrible." john 11:39.

and there it was. the lord spoke directly to me. directly to my heart.

amanda, you're still worrying about the details.

no, i don't stress out about the details of my home. at least, not as much as i used to.

but i haven't stopped focusing on the details of my life.

i still concentrate too much on the

what

when

how

why

where.

but today the lord told me...

if i can raise a man from the dead, even after being in the grave for FOUR DAYS (not a minor detail),

then i can handle the details of your life as well. you need to trust me in this.

just like martha, i get so caught up in the details that i forget to stop and see God's greater picture for my life. and i forget to trust Him to take care of those details.

so today, God showed me that, yes, i am still a "martha". but He also showed me that if i trust Him to control the details, He will raise me to a new life, one that's better than anything i could ever dream for myself.

follow My lead

adoption.

it used to be about wanting a little girl. we have four very precious nieces in our lives but some how it isn't the same as having a daughter to call your own.

i grew up part tomboy part girlie girl...can that happen? well, that was me. and i always knew i would have a little girl. hairbows. coordinating outfits. nail polish. that's right up my alley.

but God blessed me with two healthy boys, despite their start to life. i'm so blessed. we have a wonderful family. my boys are almost fourteen and eleven. practically independent.

and then i read blogs like these...

flower patch farm girl

my couch is ugly

like the love

these families have given birth in their hearts for the little ones that have no voice.

they've struggled.

they've endured sicknesses.

they've had some really tough times.

but they've allowed God to carry them through this life. they lean on Him. He holds them in the palm of His hand.

and i read books like this...

anything by jennie allen

kisses from katie

i'm starting this bible study on saturday...

Nehemiah: a heart that can break

but then i ask...

do i really want to start over?

i mean our boys are practically out of the house..just kidding but they will be before we know it!

how can we afford this?

adoption can cost up to $45,000!!

could i really raise a daughter to recognize she's the true daughter of a King...a real life princess?

i see so many girls hungry for attention..but the wrong kind. i see bullying. i see mean girls.

raising a daughter in this world would be tough.

but then i ask...

do i believe if it's God's will for my life that he will make a way for all of this to happen?

yes, i do.

do i believe what he tells us in scripture?

yes, i do.

pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you

james 1:27

i don't know what God's plans are. right now, i can tell you kevin and i are not on the same page with this. and that's ok. i will continue to pray. i've been praying for over a year now. i don't pray for kevin to change his mind. i pray that God's purpose for us will be fulfilled. i pray we will obey. whatever that may look like.

i know God has placed this desire in my heart for a reason. i choose to follow, not knowing where He will lead me.



porch party!!

i have shown you several pictures over the last several weeks of our porch.

but rhoda at southern hospitality is having a porch party...and i love a good party so i wanted to join right in!

let's look how far we've come...

not much to write home about huh?

the view from our porch wasn't much better either...

we had lots of work to do.

there was painting

cutting down some trees

getting rid of that play set

and taking down that trampoline this one isn't quite completed yet.

we still have some work to do but here's what's happened so far...

we painted the porch floor with porches and patio paint from sherwin williams.

we added some rocks and shrubs to the beds off the front.

i also added some hanging baskets. and the trees were cut down. sod laid and filled in with sand.

i got to put my cushions on my furniture out there because my porch had finally become a place i wanted to sit and relax!

and purchased this cute little garden stool!

here's another view of our yard...

and here's a wider shot of our porch...

and you see that space to the right of those windows? well, that space will soon hold this cute sign my aunt has made for me...

it isn't completely finished (distressing and framing is next) but isn't this perfect for that space?

i know, right!

well there it is...it doesn't look like a lot but there has been many blood sweat and tears going into this yard!

hope you enjoyed my little tour!



eclectic style

i have always played it safe when decorating.
my color scheme always flows through my home. accessories are always the right shade of whatever.
everything was or still is rather, safe.

i'm tired of safe. i'm tired of having something in my home because it's the right color. i'm tired of seeing something in a store that i love and thinking...oh well, it doesn't fit with my colors. i'm tired of feeling trapped!

well, i'm here to proclaim, not anymore!
i'm ready to mix things up a bit in my home.

i want funky lamps...

i want real art that i love to look at...

i want to mix instead of match...

i want curtains made of wonderful color...

and rooms filled with cute accents...

i'm still working on my dining room. the walls will be painted very soon. and right now i'm looking at some great fabrics for curtains. can't wait to post pics when we're finished!!

what's your style?



life lately in pictures

we finished up our soccer season :)

kevin's dad actually dozed off during a game...the man can sleep anywhere!

eli graduated from fifth grade. no more kids in elementary school. yep...emotional wreck!

kevin had a basketball tournament for all of his wildcat alum. i think they all had a great time!

memorial day was full of cousins and friends. cooking out and homemade ice cream. but ethan accidentally dropped my camera so i only have a few pics. praise the lord for insurance!!!

this is a buffet we purchased awhile back off craigslist. of course it didn't look like this. it was stained a dark brown with brass knobs. but annie sloan's chalk paint and crystal knobs from hobby lobby can work miracles i tell you! so can these super cute lamps from hancock fabrics! and in case you're wondering, we're getting ready to paint our dining room. right now it's chocolate brown. but it will soon be desert castle...hence the sample above the trim.

our backyard is coming along. trees were cut down. new sod was laid. it feels so open now.

loving my covered porch. and see that blank space to the right of those windows....

well my aunt kathy has made the most fabulous sign for that space. it isn't quite completed (distressing and framing is next) but i couldn't wait to show you. it will definitely be my most favorite spot in this space...

just ordered this bedding for ethan's room. he'll be using kevin's childhood bed. can't wait to get started on his room!

and last but not least, i'm getting ready to start this study in a couple of weeks. kelly minter is such a relateable down to earth bible teacher. and i'm doing the study with some incredible girls, all eager to jump into God's word this summer and deepen our relationship with Him and with each other!

so there you have it....hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!!