Friday, April 20, 2012

jesus loves me this i know...

this has not been the week i had really hoped for. don't get me wrong, i've enjoyed spending time with my boys and being away from work.
but this week looked different in my head.

i had plans. we would finish most of our backyard. i would have friends over and we would lounge by the pool while the kids played. we would have cookouts. it was going to be a great week. let's just say, none of this happened.

our weather hasn't been the greatest this week. it hasn't been this cold since march. it has rained a lot and the ground is still soggy. i'll have a picture post of the things we did get to do this week later. but there's something i want to share with you today.

we came home last night from a scrimmage soccer game for my youngest son. i decided to sit down and peruse some of my favorite blogs. and one of my most favorite is bring the rain. i've followed angie's blog for a few years. i've read her book "i will carry you" and i got to see her at the women of faith conference this past year in atlanta.

in her recent post, she described something that i didn't even realize at the time i was doing. how her attention has been on everything but the One it needs to be.
i mean let's face it. life happens and our attention can easily be shifted to ...
soccer practices
having friends over
braves games
yard work
movie night
(well, this was where my attention was this week) 

i never want to paint a perfect picture of our family. there's a lot we do right and there's a lot we do wrong. we do have family devotion time every morning before the boys go to school and before kevin and i leave for work. but what we don't do is have our devotion time when school is out.

i had plans this week. and out of all of those plans, none of them involved making sure i had my quiet time with the Lord and so did the boys.

so when i read angie's post last night, i felt guilty. i felt like i'd had this whole week to really focus my attention on Him and once again failed miserably. now let me just say, angie's post is great. and you should really read it. but her honesty in her own life, really made me sit down and think about mine.

i want to do better with my quiet time. i really want to focus on having family devotions. school or no school. weekends or weekdays.

so this morning i decided i would get up and get our devotion book (jesus calling for kids) and my bible and i would have some quiet time with God. and this is what he told me...

do you know that uneasy, twisty feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you have to give a speech? or you're up at bat? or you're next in the dance recital? you worry if you'll be good enough, and if people will like your performance.
sometimes you can even get that uneasy, twisty feeling about Me. you wonder if you are doing enough to be worthy of My love. well, the answer is no. it doesn't matter how great you act or how many things you do to serve Me, you can never be worthy of My love.  no one can. but that's the greatest thing about My love--you don't have to be worthy. it's a gift--free and clear. you don't have to earn it. you just have to accept it.
so relax. do the best you can. and know that i will love you--no matter what!

let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love.
psalm 31:16

i was so thankful He reminded me once again, there's nothing i can do to make Him love me more. His love is unconditional. i want to please Him and do the right things. but even when i don't, His love never fails.

after reading this devotion, i realized i had read the wrong day. i read the devotion for april 19th instead of april 20th. coincidence?? i think not.

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