forgiveness

this is a tough post to even write. this is one of the characteristics of love i have the hardest time with. this is something that if i relied completely on my own feelings, i would hardly ever give. because every fiber of my being says that when someone does me wrong, they should pay for it. i'm just being honest.

but then i'm convicted. the Holy Spirit brings to my attention, almost immediately, some of the things i've been forgiven of. i think of the friends and family that have forgiven me for things i've said and done. and then i think of the One who has forgiven me for everything. everything. y'all that is a loooooottttttt of forgiving...trust me!

when i'm in a place i don't want to offer forgiveness to someone, i turn to the only One i can for advice. and this is what He tells me...

hatred stirs up conflicts, but love covers all offenses. proverbs 10:12

above all, maintain an intense love for each other, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 peter 4:8

who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression..You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us, you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea. micah 7:18-19

for we know the One who has said, "vengeance belongs to Me, i will repay," and again, the Lord will judge His people. Hebrews 10:30

i've learned through this study to remember that vengeance isn't mine, that belongs to God.

 i've learned that anger needs to be a visitor not a resident. it's okay to be angry. it motivates us to confront the person who we feel has betrayed us and seek reconciliation. when we allow anger to take up residence, it makes us bitter.

i've learned when someone has wronged me and refuses to apologize, i can release that person to God. and even though there's no reconciliation, i can still move forward to becoming who He would have me to be.

on the flip side of showing forgiveness, i also want to become better about asking others for their forgiveness.

i need to learn to apologize for when i was wrong. and that doesn't mean that the other person in the situation was automatically right. it just means i want to recognize when i'm wrong and apologize for the way i behave.

like i said, this one is tough for me. i've been in situations where someone has asked me for my forgiveness. i've had seasons in my life where i've been betrayed in some of the biggest ways. and no one apologized. i've been in situations where i was the one apologizing or i needed to. whatever the case has been...they have all been hard. so i continue to work on this area in my life i feel God is bringing to my attention. i have hope it will get easier. i have hope that i will be able to offer what so many have given me. i have hope of becoming a better person. i have hope because that's what God's word tells me.

but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. isaiah 40:31

this little word of mine (i'm gonna let it shine!)

seems like this year a lot of people are using one word to describe their new year's resolution.

the word i feel God has really been laying on my heart is love.

i wrote a post about what we're studying in our sunday school class over the next couple months here. in my study, i'm learning what dr. gary chapman believes are the seven characteristics of love:  kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity and honesty. i wrote about two of the characteristics of this tiny little word  here and here. i'll try and do a post on each one as i go through the study.

we all have some form of human interaction. whether it be with our kiddos, parents, neighbors, co-workers, spouses, friends, family and even complete strangers.

i can get frustrated, impatient and upset with the family, friends and my kids sometimes. sometimes i yell when i shouldn't. sometimes i'm not showing any of the characteristics of love. but this is the year i want to be different. really different.

this year i want to be a better wife, mom, friend, neighbor, co-worker and stranger. i want to be as authentic as i can so that others can see God's love shine through me.

love is so much bigger than these four little letters give it credit for. i know i won't master all of the characteristics that it holds but i'm going to try my best to really focus on the meaning of each one and put them into practice each and every day this year.
and to help with my focus, what if i got this really cute pair of toms to wear!!

linking up with layla from the lettered cottage today

sticks and stones may break my bones....

we all could finish that quote i'm sure. and if we thought hard enough, i bet we could think of a time where we actually rattled it off at someone. but the truth is...words do hurt us.

 one of the many things i'll be focusing on throughout this year is my words. we are always talking to our boys about how they speak to each other. and to be honest, sometimes i need to have that conversation with myself.

how many times have you said something, and the minute it comes out of your mouth you wished you could take it back? for me, more.than.i.can.count. 

and i've also been on the flip side. i've had people say things that have left me bruised emotionally.

what i've learned...neither of these is a place i want to be. and there's something i can do. i can control how i speak to others and make them feel.

with my focus being on "love" and all that it involves, i want to make sure i not only demonstrate it in my actions but also my words.

 i want to be an encourager, building people up, not tearing them down.

 i want to speak words of affirmation. giving more compliments to others. i mean, who doesn't love getting compliments??

 i want to speak positively about others. even when it means i really have to look for something nice to say.

i want to speak the truth in love. this one is tricky for me. my delivery doesn't always come across the way i intend for it to.
 i want to learn to confront someone not in a bold harsh way but in a spirit of meekness.

i found this little acronym on pinterest. and thought this is simple enough to remember each day! 

do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

ephesians 4:29

is love a foreign language?

have you ever heard of dr. gary chapman? let me rephrase the question...have you heard of the book "the 5 love languages"? well dr. chapman is the author of that book. and let me tell you, it's a must read for any married couple or those about to be.

several years ago, kevin and i took a class based on this book, and it was eye opening to say the least. i never knew people spoke in different love languages. i just assumed if i was showing love the way i knew i wanted it to be shown to me, then that should be good, right? wrong! we learned so much in that study about ourselves and each other.

 i speak the love language "acts of service". nothing tells me you love me more than laundry that's folded and put away or an empty dishwasher or beds with fresh linens that are made up just right! but i'm here to tell you if you even think for one second that my man wants to be shown love by neatly folded shirts or being able to see vacuum lines in the carpet (i think i just got weak in the knees) you are sadly mistaken. he doesn't speak that language. his love language is "physical touch". now i know what you're thinking...what man's language isn't? ok, ok people, it's not all sexual, trust me. he likes to hug and hold my hand. or sit on the couch with me with his arm draped over my legs. that's physical touch!

 needless to say, we were on two totally different pages from the get go! i had to learn a new language people and i didn't do so well during the 2 semesters of french i took in high school!! but i will tell you once we started speaking the language of the other, our marriage went to a whole other level. ok this post isn't necessarily about the 5 love languages so you can read more about that book here.

what i did want to share is something i will be studying in the up coming months. our sunday school class studies from a book called "master work". each quarter is written by different renown bible teachers and scholars. some former contributors to this book have been beth moore, dr. henry blackaby and dr. gary chapman just to name a few.

now i will be honest, i haven't liked all of the ones we've studied. but the one we will be studying over the next couple months looks to be very interesting. it's called "love as a way of life" and it's written by dr. chapman based from his book titled the same. in this series dr. chapman breaks down what he believes are the seven characteristics of loving a person: kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity, and honesty. in our study, we will take one characteristic per week and break it down according to the Scriptures.

let's face it, whether we want to be or not, we are all in relationships. whether it be with friends, spouses, parents, children, siblings, coworkers or neighbors. and for me, i know i fail miserably with at least one of these characteristics in every.single.relationship.

so i thought each week i would take something i've learned about each trait and the corresponding Scriptures and pass it along! now i don't know if it will be something i put at the end of a post or an entire post of its own. we'll work out the kinks as we go!

hope everyone has a great week!!